22
Feb
2010
How People Feel About Learning
New information or information that challenges existing beliefs or systems presents problems to any communicator. As a species, people are grounded in the familiar and in what is proven to work. Exploring is only for the few, not the many. There’s only one Columbus, one Edison, one Hillary. Even questioning existing beliefs feels dangerous to most people. Therefore, the first reaction to learning is often resistance. In order to understand what you need to overcome in order to present new information at work, to bring others to accept it or wish to change anything, let’s look at some basic obstacles to listening and learning.
Threatened
The daily ongoing business of keeping up—let alone getting ahead—at work requires tremendous effort. Status, Usefulness, Acceptance, Money, and the other factors I talked about in Chapter 1 push us to try to maintain some sense of security or stability at work while we gather our forces and plan our assault on the next rung or pinnacle. We climb only when we feel ready and strong enough. For someone else to move into our path and say, “It’s time for a challenge now,” can be threatening. Of course, there are individual variations based on levels of skill and personal confidence, but most people think: ”I’ve just about figured this level out. Why do I want to change now? I can picture the present scene, but not the new one being presented. Better play it safe till I can figure it out. ‘The devil I know is better than the devil I don’t know.’ So our tendency is to push against new ideas or systems, not to welcome them.
Intimidated
Our universal need to save face, to appear confident and competent, to seem grounded in our lives and unflappable, is intensified at work. That’s the dangerous, get-ahead place where everyone’s watching, waiting to pounce and move in or up)—over you. Look at the concern that
can be created when someone else (especially someone in charge) comes up with a new idea or imperative. We think: ”You dreamed it up, so you understand it and know how to do it and why. But / am not at all sure that 7 can understand it or be able to do it, especially do it well.” We hark back to our early experiences in the learning game. Most people’s school experience was not stellar. We still remember the smarting embarrassment of being found wrong or wanting in the early vulnerable days. The anxiety about our own competence doesn’t ever really leave us. Whenever you, the teller, present a challenge to move into the “Learn this, because there will be a test” mode, you can call up levels of performance anxiety. Thus the normal human instinct of self-preservation causes us, the recipients, to put our hands up in front of our faces and say, “Whoa!”
Competitive
Your idea, not mine. That fact can create resistance again. Not only because I didn’t think of it, but because of the implication that you were smart enough, creative enough, even brave enough, to think of it. For many competitive people there’s also the feeling that if I accept your idea, you’re ahead of me and I’m in a weakened position.
Need the Familiar
New ideas are usually presented just that way—as new. Different. Unlike what’s gone before. Bad news! This doesn’t give the listener/learner any grounding or context or reason to believe he/she can tune in. We all need to feel some ownership of turf before we venture forth to the unknown. “Turf” in this case means knowing that past information and experience, one’s background, is valuable and useful in a new situation. New data creates major resistance since one doesn’t know how to listen to it, to relate to or even imagine it. The safest way to discuss new information is to begin with what is known. To start with the familiar and then to add the new as variations or take-offs from the old. To establish and remind one of what is, then show how it leads to what could be.
Language
Words mean instant understanding if they are used well and if they are within the listener’s vocabulary. Since words are exact, stating facts and concepts precisely—once we know a language, we expect its words to be accurate and clear to us, making an immediate image which is shared by everyone. We depend on processing words easily, knowing that they are the vehicle that will move us along in our comprehension. We don’t expect to get stuck. We are challenged and concerned when we do. Therefore, how we use language has a great effect on how people can take in and understand us.
Effects of Not Understanding Words
The instant halt to comprehension when we hear a word we don’t understand causes us to lose our concentration and the momentum built up by the speaker. We ruminate, scanning our storehouse of language, looking for possible connotations: “Sounds like . . . ” “In that context, it probably means . . . “But while we do that, we have to stop listening and processing your data. Then, when we tune back in again, we’re out of sync and need to catch up. Meanwhile, of course, we’ve missed something, perhaps the essence of what the teller is telling. But that’s only the beginning of the end.
• We discover our ignorance.
The second and deeper, consequence of using a word not in the audience’s (one or many) vocabulary is the discovery of what we don’t know and what you do know. ”And if you know and I don’t, maybe I won’t be able to understand your message. Maybe there’s too much more I don’t know, that you do know, to allow me to get the rest of your message.”Widening the gap between the teller and the receiver is a major pitfall whenever you use words to inform or persuade.
• We learn how you feel about us.
Even further down in the subconscious is the idea that if you understand and know these words and I don’t, and if you persist in using them, then you don’t know much about me—your audience. You don’t automatically know (if we know each other) or didn’t bother to find out (if you’re talking to strangers) what I understand of your subject; that I don’t know the shorthand and acronyms you’re using. And if you’re not sensitive about that, you don’t much care whether I get your message or not. If you did, you’d make a greater effort to make yourself instantly clear. You’d choose words that would be readily grasped. You would do nothing to get in the way of my continued attention and comprehension. You cared about my getting your message. Not only my finding out how smart you are. . .
• The bottom line: There are many built-in obstacles to people automatically accepting and absorbing information. This is true in general, but especially in the specific kind of information you’d like to impart in the work world. You often deal with new ideas, with changing how things are done, with trying to persuade others about your point of view. Knowing how people react to learning is vital to planning your communications strategy. And further: recognizing and accepting the ways in which our media have affected us and conditioned our systems of communication helps us to critique and hone our communication techniques. Finally, absorbing and understanding the basic principles of how we communicate and why we listen—what works, what doesn’t, and why—starts you on the road to a realistic appraisal of what you want to tell and how you plan to tell it.
[from "How to Talk so People Listen" by Sonya Hamlin]
Thanks so much for quoting from my book. Especially since architecture has been dear to my heart for many years, since I was a dancer and we both make shapes in space, yes? And we both deal in non-verbal, visual language. I have also taught architects for years on how to present their work to a public unable to picture what the finished product will look like, both at the International Design conference in Aspen, CO as well as at Harvard and in private firms.
I’m continually working on helping people bridge the gap between what they mean and how to say it so others understand. Please visit my blog for more insights at sonyahamlin..wordpress.com
Sonya Hamlin